The Twilight Soundtrack

This is my critique of the Twilight Soundtrack, which hit #1 on the Billboard charts before the movie even came out. Admittedly, I'm a bit of a music snob but I have to say that some of these songs are quite catchy. Ok, I'll be honest - I'm completely biased when it comes to music and can be pretty unforgiving. Feel free to leave a comment telling me what a stuck up bitch I am.

Muse - Supermassive Black Hole: This song was stuck in my head from watching the utterly cheesy but still gooey-good 'baseball' scene over and over again. It's a catchy song. However, Snarkier pointed out that it sounds like they are saying 'supermassive whack-a-mole' instead of 'supermassive black hole' and now I laugh every time I hear that part of the song.

Oh, and this is apparently the only good song Muse has ever done. I checked.

Paramore (Decode, I Caught Myself): Let's get something straight about this band, shall we? Paramore is labeled 'pop-punk'. They are not and it's an insult to punk rock in general even to group them in this category. Pop punk does not exist. It's either pop or it's punk. You can't have both. Crass was a punk band. Born Against was a punk band. Paramore is definitely not a punk band. And while we're on the subject, neither is Avril Lavigne.

I suppose if I was a teenager with poor taste in music I would LOVE this band. They aren't exactly bad - they just sound like every other poppy-rock band with a chick singer out there.

The Black Ghosts (Full Moon)- I actually really liked this song. It's a melodic electro-pop that has a hint of melancholy. This song kind of reminds me of Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair but, obviously, more electric than folk. I definitely plan on checking these guys out in more depth.

Linkin Park (Leave Out All the Rest)- Not only does this band blow donkey testicles, the lyrics of this song irritated the crap out of me. It's basically some guy who is a huge asshole asking someone else to make up fake happy memories about him and to forget what a dick he is. What a cop out. In fact, I despise this band so much I refuse to link to their website.

Mute Math (Spotlight) - This song is okay. It's catchy and poppy. The first time I heard this song I thought 'lame' but I have to admit, it's grown on me.

Perry Farrell (Go all the Way) - This is, unfortunately, no Jane's Addiction. The female singer's voice can be pretty grating at times but she oozes sexiness... it's Perry Farrell wife, after all. You have to pretty hot to tap that guy.

Yup, this song definitely is s-e-x-y! Yowser! And then there is this...


Rob Pattinson - Is this song gonna do something? Let's put it this way, if RPatt was strumming this song on a subway platform I might give him a quarter. But probably not.

Rob - Listen, you did an acceptable job as Edward. And you're good looking, even though I feel kind of dirty admitting that since I'm, oh, ten years older than you, give or take a few years. But with age comes wisdom and I'd like to impart some on you - focus on one career or the other because you're not good enough at acting or singing to do both.

Collective Soul (Tremble for My Beloved) -I know Collective Soul is a pretty big band but I fail to see why. Don't get me wrong, they seem like a pretty tight fivesome(?) but the music is just... bleh. It sounds like over-the-top big rock-bandness to me.

Blue Foundation (Eyes on Fire) - Either this soundtrack is sucking the indie snob out of me or this band is actually pretty decent.




Iron & Wine (Flightless Bird, American Mouth) - I love Iron & Wine. Have you seen this guy? He looks like fucking Jesus. Woman King is probably one of my favorite albums (Well, it's an EP) to listen to. My brother's wedding song was Iron & Wine, for fuck's sake.

Anyhoo, rumor has it that Kristen Stewart requested this song, which is probably her greatest contribution to this movie. It makes up for two hours of twitching and bad acting. Well done, Kristen!

I have nothing nice to say about Bella's Lullaby so I'm going to keep my mouth shut.

Ironically, the one song that was actually played in it's entirely (or mostly, at the very least) was 15 Steps by Radiohead, which is an amazing song. And it's not on the fecking soundtrack. What gives? Maybe Radiohead realized at the last minute that being on an album with Linkin Park would damamge their credibility as muscians...