Mini Edward's a Stand-Up Kinda Vamp!

The other day I made an obligatory trip to the doctor's office [they lack confidence in my self-diagnosing know-how! the nerve!] and as usual, Edward didn't mind coming along to keep me company (I promised him there would be no blood involved).

Seeing as how it's been quite a few years since he's had the need for medical attention himself, he spent most of his time checking out the assorted medical devices and equipment in the exam room. This little grouping of tools caught his attention*: of course he had no issues whatsoever with the tuning fork; he has excellent hearing (we all know vampires hear everything--like it or not)! However, the reflex hammers really threw him for a loop... Apparently Edward hadn't been all that aware of his, er... "flexibility issues:" mini-Edward's knees just don't bend. [And seriously: for twenty bucks they couldn't have given him a few more movable joints?! WTF?? Those folks at Necca are cheap bastards...]

Exhibit A: Bendy Knees

Exhibit B: Not-So-Bendy Knees

With the harsh reality of his single imperfection upon him, Edward got pretty bummed... Sure, he accompanied me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription after we left the doctor's office and tried to act like everything was okay, but he just wasn't quite himself... Sulking, a tad pouty, wouldn't make eye contact...

Next time I think I'll just make an appointment with Carlisle... That would likely have made things easier for everyone, to say nothing of the potential financial savings (don't even get me started on my crappy medical insurance! JJ has discussed how Edward feels about our collective potty-mouths and this subject gets me so hopped up!) Besides, Carlisle has a super-vamp-alicious bedside manner, and who could resist getting in on a little bit of that action???

The Doctor is definitely "in".

*Taking this picture of mini-Edward in the exam room was a close call! It was as nerve-racking as that time when JJ snapped a shot of Edward in the break room at her office... I managed to capture the moment not a second too soon! The end of my office visit was thisclose to ending as follows:

Dr: Well then, Ms. Snarkier Than You, we'll see you next... Wait--what in the world ARE you doing??? What IS that?
STY: Um, this is Edward... He's -
Dr.: I Seeeeeee... [frowns, glances at clipboard, starts scribbling]
STY: [feebly attempts to explan] Well, uh, you see, it's a joke, really. Um, my friend and I--
Dr.: I see your insurance is through Debtna...
STY: Er, yeah - you want me to leave now, right?
Dr.: Actually, Ms. STY, that insurance allows 12 outpatient psychiatric visits annually. [speaking softly so as not to scare the crazy lady] I can recommend a wonderful therapist... No? Perhaps you and your little friend would like to step back into my office to discuss this further??? [motions for people to bring on the straitjacket]