Sunday, June 19, 2011

What Would Genghis Khan Do?

In general, I tend to believe that if people just did shit the way I expected them to, this world would be a much better place. Instead of wars and diseases and bumper-to-bumper traffic, we would have puppies and rainbows and lots of naked Robert Pattinsons walking around and the Earth would be an awesomely swell place where people were actually nice to each other, rather than the raging douchebags they usually are.


Unfortunately, I am also a raging douchebag. But in a different way. You see, while I have the mouth of a trucker and a mind that often hangs out in the gutter, there is one thing that is super duper important to me.

Common Courtesy. It's really simple but most people wander around like the world revolves solely for their benefit. And these people make me stabby.

It's the little things that turn me from a relatively mild-mannered crotchety jerk into a seething mass of violent urges and blinding rage. However, because it's illegal to punch people in the back of the head for not holding the door open for you when you're walking directly behind them, I have to vent my anger in other ways, which isn't really venting at all, it's just me glaring at the back of someone's head asking myself, "What would Genghis Khan do?"

 He'd rip your entrails out and shit in your eye sockets, that's what he would do...

A brief history lesson for those of you who may not have ever heard of this dude: Genghis Khan conquered himself an enormous empire in China and possibly elsewhere (what? I'm not a fucking historian) by basically being an insane, ass-kicking, murdering motherfucker who took shit from NO ONE and if you pissed him off you would probably find your head on the sharp end of a really big stick. I'm pretty sure villagers probably shit their pants at the mere mention of this guy's dick, let alone his army. I also think he liked to collect heads and may have possibly had a pyramid of them.

Even Chuck Norris is afraid of him.


For the most part, when I encounter pure acts of douchism, I keep my mouth shut. And channel Genghis Khan. 

For example, I cannot stand the people who use roll-y briefcases. Rolling luggage I can understand because if you pack like Snarkier Than You then I'm sure that shit is heavy, but there is nothing more infuriating than having some man dragging around his fucking laptop on a set of wheels through New York City. First of all, sidewalks are crowded and no one can see your fucking mini-luggage. Want to know why? Because its small, asshat, and the whole reason its small is because there isn't a whole lot of shit in your briefcase so eat your goddamn Wheaties and pick that up like everyone else. You're taking up valuable room on the sidewalk and running over people's feet, dickwad.

 Nothing screams "I'm a pussy" more than someone dragging around six pounds on wheels. You are obviously not going to survive the zombie apocalypse.

But it's when you decide to get all bent out of shape when people accidentally kick your briefcase that makes me want to go totally Genghis Khan on your ass, pick the fucking briefcase up, and throw it into oncoming traffic, possibly with you trailing after it.

Because I'm a commuter I deal with a lot more assholery than most people do. Public transportation is a bitch, to be sure. There is a certain etiquette to traveling on public transportation, mainly because if there wasn't, the train would probably make the gladiator fights at the Coliseum look like a knitting class in an old folks' home.

 More or less what I imagine my commute to resemble if that last tenuous thread of courtesy snapped...

There are a few things that people do on a train that I think totally warrants having your head added to the trophy pile of "heads from assholes who have absolutely no regard to their fellow travelers." One of these behaviors, which makes me shake with unadulterated fury is when people take their shoes off. What the fuck? Does this torn, graffiti covered vinyl seat look like your fucking couch at home? Your nasty feet have been sweltering in a pair of loafers all day and by removing your shoes, you're releasing your sweaty funk and bacteria into the air - OH MAH GAHD DON'T YOU DARE PUT YOUR FEET ON MY SEAT!!!

Genghis Khan time, mother fuckers. This goes ten-fold for people who cut their nails on the train. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have witnessed this and it blows my mind. It's all I can do not to leap over the seats, rip the nail clippers out of their hands and stuff them in their eye. It's gross and unsanitary. Keep that shit contained.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf...

I realize that I'm not the most patient person on earth. At all. Checkout lines are my own personal hell and I try to not to freak the fuck out when someone decides to pay with pennies, or has coupons. I really do. But when a person stands there, watches the cashier ring and bag all their items and then goes for their wallet, I lose my shit. I mean, you weren't fucking doing anything while the cashier was bagging your shit (which, incidentally, unless you have a disability or graduated high school the same year the Titanic sank, you should be bagging your own groceries)!! Didn't it occur to you that maybe you could use that five minutes to dig through your gargantuan sack of a bag and start looking for your wallet? What, were you surprised that you had to actually pay or something? Because I seriously don't understand why you seemed to confused about the final step of a transaction you're probably done hundreds, if not thousands, of times in your measly little life!!!

I know I'm not the only one who becomes completely enraged when strangers (and friends) do certain things. Whether it's masticating with their gobs wide open to shitting on your bedspread (if you don't have a problem with the latter I need to know why RIGHT NOW), I want to know what makes you, dear reader, want to go Genghis Khan on somebody's ass.

46 comments:

  1. Narcissism.
    Anyone who thinks they are better than everyone else & that they don't have to follow the rules TOTALLY needs a throat punch. I work with one of these & I have fantasies about kicking her ass.

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  2. personal space. And I'm not talking about everyone is squished in a subway type of personal space. I mean, when I'm in line at the grocery store and you are LITERALLY breathing down my neck and possibly humping my butt and there is FIVE feet of space behind you! That's what gets me to breathe fire.
    That happened to me once upon a time when I was 8 months pregnant. I turned around and asked the woman if she wanted a kiss because she was sharing more personal space with me than my own damn husband.
    And she was... APPALLED! wtf. GET OUT OF MY SPACE!

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  3. P.S. My personal space issue would not apply to Charlie Bewley or RPattz JSYK

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  4. When mothers overreact to their children's injuries. Kids fall, it rounds out their post birth cone shaped heads. Tell that brat to suck it up and shake that shit off! I feel completely outer Mongolian when a bitch licks her finger to wipe tears, blood, snot and other mung from their kiddos face. Lick, repeat, lick, repeat, die of sepsis.
    Any bathroom business outside of the bathroom from nail clipping to applying deodorant.
    Old creeper doctors that hit on me at work even though I'm clearly dickmatized by Mr. Nifer. Tailgaters-OMFG people. I know I may look like I'd be fun to ride, but you're fucking wrong- Brake check! Mommy need money for internet porn downloads!

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  5. If I didn't already love you, this would've clinched it. I'm actually sitting here wondering if we're the same person. To add to the list:

    -People talking on cell phones while the cashier's ringing them out. It's just fucking rude--and at the pharmacy counter, we actually NEED to talk to you. You're not impressing anyone; we all have cell phones, too.
    -People who can't control their kids in public. If you're OK with them acting like wild animals at home, fine by me, but teach them how to behave when they're around other people.
    -People who don't hit the turn signal until they're halfway into the turn. Thanks, asshole, but I figured it out for myself.
    -People who don't know what they want to order by the time it's their turn. Get out of line, bitch, I'd like to get on with my life.

    I could go on, but I'll leave it there.

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  6. I have an issue with people using their phones in a bathroom. It is a place for us to piss and sometimes shit in if we can't hold it long enough to make it home. It is not you're little designated area to have a chat about your weekend plans.

    Which is why if there is someone on the phone while I'm in the bathroom, I start making those childish farting noises on my arm and screaming about some chili I just ate.

    The only ONLY time a phone is acceptable in a public bathroom is when you get that email letting you know the fic that you are obsessing over has updated, and that's it

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  7. My list of things that don't make me go all Khan on people is shorter than the things that do but here's a few...
    Loud cellphone talkers, dinner texters, not using turn signals, horn honkers, people who don't watch their own kids at the park and look at you like your an asshole for watching the kid fall as if you should have been the one to run 10 feet to save the little shit even though your busy keeping an eye on the children you are actually paid to watch, people who tell others what to do, people who try to one up you in the I'm having a bad day but mine is worse because..., liars, people who text and drive.

    One time I got so ragey I had to be held back from jumping out of the car to beat another driver when they cut into my dad's funeral procession. The things I was screaming were not pretty. When I'm already upset you do NOT want to do anything to rock that already unsteady boat.

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  8. Then / than; you're / your; breathe / breath; bare / bear. I could go on. You've all seen this kind of mistake.

    I first became annoyed when my fanfiction authors couldn't figure it out, but fuck me if I haven't started noticing these in the work place. Grrrr!

    Oh, I always have my card scanned and PIN number entered before they finish ringing me up at the grocery store, but I rarely use my turn signal! Oops!

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  9. 1. People who don't put there shopping carts away and just leave them in the parking space next to their car! SERIOUSLY people the little corral thing is like 10 feet away
    2. People who obviously have more than 20 items in the 20 items or less aisle. I really wish that cashiers would tell them they have to go to a regular line
    3. People who talk on their phone while in the stall. Texting is fine, hell I check FB and twitter while on the crapper at work to waste time but no talking!
    That is all I can think of for now but I am sure there is more

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  10. The people who park their shopping carts in the MIDDLE of the aisle and completely block traffic. Grocery store, drug store, department store, Costco -- it's all the same. PULL YOUR CART TO THE SIDE IF YOU ARE GOING TO YAK.

    And people who do not understand the concept of a 4-way stop. YOU TAKE TURNS, dimwit. In sequence. When in doubt, the person to your right goes first. And if you are really smart, the people on opposite sides who are both going straight can go AT THE SAME TIME and you can get twice as many cars through the intersection.

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  11. still looking for my vampJune 20, 2011 at 1:06 AM

    People who push their carts down the wrong side of the aisle in the grocery store. Would you drive your car down the wrong side of the street motherfucker? No?

    People who argue with the checkout clerk over a .10 difference between what they paid and what was advertised

    People who do not remove a wailing, ear-piercing screaming baby from a restaurant. Hey, been there, done the kid thing. I understand you are trying to teach the kid to sit in a high chair, but I didn't pay $50 to listen to it. Remove the child and try again after some practice at home.

    People who don't say thank you when you hold the door for them. Same with letting someone cut in front of you in traffic.

    Someone going too slow in traffic, not even meeting speed limits. I want to squish you with my Yukon.

    Anyone who clips their nails anywhere except in the privacy of their own bathroom.

    The asshat at the bank drive thru window who doesn't have his transaction ready to go, but instead sits there and fills it out while at the window. I got places to go, buddy. Get your shit ready before you get to the window.

    The shumuck that spends ten minutes chit-chatting with the pharmacist. Again...I have places to go...

    At this point I do have to ask myself why I venture out of my house.

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  12. Good post, but needs illustration of actual nude Robert Pattinson walking around.
    DANA

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. Ditto, Ladies, ditto. I haven't read anything in the post or comments with which I disagree. You are all brilliant and it makes me wonder how there can be so many assholes in this world when so many of us think this way?

    That said, let me add three and a half:
    1) A 'Witch' is a bitch WHICH you see on Halloween. It's just a homonym.
    2) People that spit out their gum onto the grass, sidewalk, curb, parking lot, street, or pretty much anywhere that isn't the bottom of a trash bin. If I wanted chewed gum anywhere on my person I'd put it there myself.
    3) The d-bag who is so special that their laptop bag, suitcase and coat all deserve surface space in an airplane's overhead luggage bin.
    3.5) The d-bag who gets butthurt when you stack said d-bag's shit on top off one another in the overhead luggage bin so the flight attendant won't check your bag. Hey d-bag, if you want your shit STACKED a certain way, I'd suggest you do it BEFORE your shit becomes my problem

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  15. roflmao. i thought my list was going to be long and unusual, but all of you have already hit all my Gengis trigger points.

    but wait...theres more:

    *when the home phone rings, you answer it, then call out to whoever the phone call is for and they say "what?" (Fkn SERIOUSLY?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK??)

    *I have to mention the using your indicator (turn signal) when in the turning lane or failing to do the 'thank you for letting me in front of you' wave

    *When my husband brings his empty tea/coffee cup through 4 rooms from the study (office/den) into the kitchen and then leaves the cup on the dinner table NOT in the sink/dishwasher.

    *When people argue with you even though they're making the same point as you, they just want to phrase it differently so that THEY"RE the one who's "right".

    *When people let their huge, pushy, bully ALMOST TEENAGE-AGED kids play in the little kids play areas. Friggen keep them segregated before I cut your kid!!

    *When I used to go out with my (at the time) 2 year old either pregnant, or with my newborn baby and people would say shit like "You're going to have your hands full" (or the present tense of the same sentence)

    *My birthday is December 29th (shite I know) and people say 'I dont have enough money to get you both a birthday AND a christmas present, so i'll get you one present that's worth the same as two..." *uuummmmmmmmmmmm hey fuckhead, that's just plain stupid, time to think about what you just said*

    *racism. (E.V.E.R)


    there are more, but I'm beginning to sound like an intolerant asshole.

    and I'm 'seconding' all the other's y'all mentioned already!

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  16. Oohee. Where to start? The list is looong, mo-fos.

    - Spelling and grammar. Always an issue for me but more so since fab fiction. It is not difficult to know which: there/their/they're or which where/we're/wear. Do not get me started on the chronic misuse of the apostrophe.

    - Driving. If you can't play by the rules get off the fucking road. Indicators exist for a reason, d-bag.

    - Inconsiderate supermarket shoppers. I need my iPod up loud to try and take focus off the fact I'm there at all. I'm seriously considering online shopping w home delivery.

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  17. Oh, the irony of a spelling mistake in that comment. It is 'fab' fiction, but more specifically, fan fiction.

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  18. Ha. My list is too long. Way too long. I pretty much want to go all Ghenghis on people every day. About a gazillion times a day. But I'm not angry or anything...

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  19. @Sabrina--Don't punch me. I can't help being better than everyone else.

    I really, REALLY hate the briefcases on wheels as well. Hate. Them. I also have a lot of anger when driving. It's not very hard to drive. You go when the light is green (not 5 seconds later) & add 25 miles to the speed limit.

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  20. @ TK - here comes a facepunch.

    Forgot to mention one very important one....people who flick their cigarette butts out of the car window. Dangerous, littering, selfish!

    Really, all of these examples fall under narcissists, don'tcha think?

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  21. I'm a Pisces and very easy-going most of the time. It takes ALOT to make me go all Genghis Khan on someone. We go camping quite a bit In the summer. We just returned from a few days up north in the great outdoors. Call me weird, but I actually want to hear nature when I'm out in the woods, not a freakin radio blastin god-awful crap. Also, people who let their Cujo-like dogs roam free. You may think they are harmless but when they come running up on me, it's scary.

    At home, I will lose my mind if someone picks the dry skin off their feet or hands near me or leaves a dirty bandaid laying around.

    Finally, people who make ignorant comments about someone's name should be shot. Thin the herd.

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  22. - people who don't use turn signals... WTF people I'm not psychic.

    - drives who go to great lengths nearly hitting you in the process to be one car length ahead of you. Yah that will get you there just that much faster now won't it.

    - tailgaters... Buddy I don't care how close you get I'm not going any faster, and just for the fun of it I'll start slowing down. Take that douche bag!

    - people who stop in traffic circles to let someone in. WTF that’s not the way they work people!

    - that being said... people who don't yield when entering a traffic circle. Dude I've got the right away here and if you think your gonna bully your way in, think again.

    Hmmm.... I have a lot of issues with other drivers.

    - Rude People.... Really like I want to deal with your shit.

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  23. And this is why we all get along on here - we are all evil twatwaffles with major pet peeves! :)

    @TwiKiwi50 - ROFLMAO! Your spelling error was the first thing I saw as you were bitching about spelling errors! BWAHAHA!

    I am with most of you on the road rage, my anger levels go off the fucking charts with those that don't use signals, go to slow, tailgate and those that don't understand what "yield" means - fucking look it up!!

    - The fingernail cutting at your desk
    - The missing the toilet when you piss or if you have explosive shit issues, CLEAN IT UP!!
    - Backstabbing, two faced whores...really, if you don't like me, then don't like me but don't pretend you do when we both know you don't. Say how you feel, get it out, address it and we'll all feel better.

    I can't even begin to list my stabbiness issues that I have at work because it's long and complicated.....I need to live on Prozac....

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  24. 1. Smoking. Go ahead and give yourself lung cancer and die at an early age if you want (Google Image search this: 'smoker's lungs.' Enough said.), but I sure as hell am not going down with you (and when I have a baby, I might upgrade from dirty looks to throat punches for anyone who blows smoke my direction). It's freaking 2011 - so yes, if you're still smoking, I'm judging you. Severely.

    2. Bad drivers/bad grammar/bad manners. At least pretend you have some breeding.

    3. The ridiculous things people say to a pregnant woman. If you ever say "You must be about to pop!" or "Wow, are you having twins?" or anything else other than "You look absolutely adorable and wow, I can't believe you're eight months pregnant because you're so tiny," go ahead and punch yourself in the face and save me the trouble.

    4. People who bitch and moan about being overweight but won't lift a finger to change it. Just STOP EATING already. Drop your caloric intake and get off the couch and *bam,* magic happens - you stop being such a fatass! Imagine that! And frankly, if you spend your money on specialty diets and prepackaged diet food, or if you count Weight Watchers points, I'm judging you. HELLO - if you can count WW points, you can count calories. Healthy eating is not rocket science and it doesn't require a support group, subscription food service, or complex mathematical formulas. If you're happily large and in charge, more power to you, but I can't stand the "oh, nothing looks good on me, I'm so fat" comments when you just had dessert with lunch. Ugggggh.

    *sigh* That was cathartic. I feel better.

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  25. I have to add one more. Never, ever, EVER say the following to someone who has just revealed that they're having trouble getting pregnant: "Maybe if you just relax..." Infertility is not caused by stress, period, end of story.

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  26. I can't stand when people say it was a "miracle" they survived something and they're serious. I know we should never ever get in a religious or political debate but seriously your implication that if there's a God, he's randomly doling out miracles to some and damnation and horrible things to others, is offending the fuck out of me. Please remove yourself from my sight and range of hearing. I don't mean to offend the religious which is why I don't give you my view in public so save yours. Same for athletes who thank God for their touchdown. Seriously, probably has better things to do than make sure your team gets the big W.

    Driving with other idiots, period. My commute isn't even that horrible compared to some but I have road rage something fierce and have even stupidly approached people to tell them to shove their head shaking when they were in the wrong up their ass.

    I HATE when I send a two sentence email for work and someone replies asking me questions that are clearly answered in my initial email. READ the two sentences.

    I hate managing college students who don't know how to google something and need to be told eleventy million times how to do something simple. I want to sit them down and tell them its vitally important they learn how to take some initiative or they will never land a job after college.

    Thank you. I think I can put therapy off for a couple more months.

    Also, my word verification is "pubedic". I don't feel like I need to elaborate how much I would like to see Rob's pubedic.

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  27. - Parents who worship their children and don't correct the little fuckers when they act like total little Marie Antointettes
    - Sheer fucking stupidity (like 98% of the asshat fuckwad drivers in New Mexico)

    I'm sure I'll think of more later. Will be sure to share if I do.

    vw: ronalsm. I'd probably hate that too if I knew what it meant.

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  28. Speaking of shopping cars....what the fuck is up with leaving your shopping cart at the checkout aisle just because YOU just offloaded your junk onto the belt. TAKE IT WITH YOU AND PUT IT BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!!

    Thank you, I needed that.

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  29. WTF people really clip their nails on trains? LOL!

    I'm probably a pretty tolerant person when I'm out in public. But what bugs me is when I am in my own home and the phone rings and whoever is on the phone whether it is family, friend, or random caller assumes that I have like an entire hour to just sit around and listen to them talk. Sometimes I really don't have that kind of time. (I may be deep into a FF story or Robp0rn) :)

    All anyone has to say is, "Do you have a few minutes to chat" or "I really need to talk to you is this a good time?" Is that so hard?

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  30. K, so my lurker friend says that I need to put her pet peevs on here for her...
    -school office staff that act like whatever they are doing (ie: looking at someones dog pics) is more important than my concerns about my child.
    -people who treat you like you are as intelligent as their five year old, telling you how to live your life.
    -adults who let their children be in charge of the adults life.

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  31. @my after car-i think we should date. You are so right about smoking and people who complain about being fat. It's so irritating when overweight people say "God, you're so skinny", or "I wish I was a twig like you". Well, you could be if you put down the cheezy poofs. I look like this because I work at it, dammit! If you don't like something about yourself, change it. don't complain to me about it.

    Also hate condescending professionals who think that a colleague calling them for advice is a willing victim to be shit all over and made to feel stupid.

    Also:
    - husband telling our daughter he's going to play with her, then disappearing into the bedroom on the computer for an hour
    - people who incorrectly use long words in conversation to make themselves sound smarter, when it does the opposite
    - people who pay in the grocery store by check. c'mon people, it's 2011. get a debit card!
    - people who bring their pet into my clinic, have services performed on the pet, then tell me they have no money. would you go to a barber shop for a haircut, then after it's done tell him you can't pay for it?! i love animals, but i have bills to pay!

    i could go on...

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  32. From Sister Snarky:

    Here are some things (in no particular order) that also make me nuts:
    - People who add the word (is it actually a word?) "YO" to the end of their sentences. Seriously - what does this mean?
    - People who don't give the obligatory "thank you" wave after you let them cut in front of you in traffic.
    - People wearing bikinis who are really too old to be doing so.
    - People who add their pets to their answering machine message(as in - Bob, Katie, Mathew and Snuffles can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message." Because I was actually calling for Snuffles.
    - People who still litter.
    - Tattoos of Disney characters - sorry - I just really hate it. Any cartoon characters really.
    - Tip jars in places like Dunkin Donuts. Yes, I know you are probably not getting paid enough but neither am I and I hate money earned from guilt.
    - People who can't stop listing things that annoy them. Hmmm...

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  33. @ Fragile Little Human & My After Car....wanna have a three way? I think I love you!!!
    As a counselor, anyone who whines & then does nothing to improve their situation irritates the crap out of me.

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  34. ... and I will go on, with one more infuriating peeve. Please stop pissing on the toilet seats!!! just sit on the goddamned thing! YOU are the one who is making the seat dirty! I do not want to have to do some kind of freaking trapeze act over the toilet to avoid your piss, and it is very difficult to hold a 6-year-old up over the seat so she doesn't sit on it. if you need to suspend yourself over a toilet, WIPE IT OFF AFTER!!!

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  35. I've got another one: I work at Target and occasionally need to do a little shopping before or after work. If you see me pushing a shopping cart or with my purse hanging off my shoulder or with my earbuds in, DON'T ask me where something is! I'm OBVIOUSLY not working. There's a little think called common sense, folks; get some.

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  36. The clipping the toenails drives me insane. A former co-worker use to clip her toenails in her office. When I moved to another office I swear that I had PTSD from it because my boss would pop her gum and I swore it was toenail clip lady back and I would get the shivers and sweats.

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  37. Oh man...This could go on all night...

    1) I'm with @Sister Snarky. People who don't wave when you let their asses in.

    2) People who touch pregnant bellies w/o permisson. Why there aren't more bitch slaps, I have no idea. @MyAfterCar, thoughts?

    3) Bartenders who try to dissuade me from ordering what I know I want.

    4) Any service provider whose response is "Are you sure?" Fucking hell...If I'm asking for it, I am willing to pay for it, which means you should keep your mouth shut.

    5) Uggs with leggings/skinny jeans. DIE.DIE.DIE. Oh wait...Uggs at all.

    There' smore...there's always more. But I appreciate everything that has already been brough to the table.

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  38. @RobzSinger EXACTLY!

    @Sister Snarky via STY: funny story, once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, my friends and I were having a lazy day swimming in our pool. My boyfriend got out to ask my Mom for cooldrink through the kitchen window and said something like 'can I have a drink, Yo?'. I was about to rage all over him for being so rude to my Mom, when I remembered my Mom's name is ... Yo. Short for Yolanda. Oh good times.

    As for me, I drive myself to work and back everyday and I SWEAR PEOPLE ON THE ROAD ARE STUPID FOTHERMUCKERS OUT TO GET ME. That is all.

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  39. I think my list just quadrupled. Maybe we should think about starting a "courtesy gang" where we go around and strong arm people who do asshole-y stuff.

    @Cat - HATE when people stand directly behind me in a line. Especially when I'm using my debit card.

    To all the road ragers - As much as I complain about taking public transportation, NOTHING is worse than being stuck in a car for a long, shitty commute. When I used to drive, there were times I thought my chest was going to explode with rage and frustration over the obnoxious (and dangerous) shit people did on the road.

    @NinjaTwinerd - I agree with the parents who think their children are so precious they simply can do no wrong. Give the kid a little discipline, let them know they aren't perfect. You'll be doing them a favor when they hit adulthood.

    Have I mentioned that I think we were all meant to find each other?

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  40. I agree with all of these. I will add only two because I don't think I saw them.

    1.) People who constantly whistle or sing to themselves. Drives me CRAZY!!

    2.) The people who say to me "Oh...you'll change your mind about having kids when you find the right guy." It never fails when I tell people I don't want kids.

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  41. @Amers425 - The whole "you'll change your mind" thing pisses me off as well. I can't tell you how many rude comments I've received when I mention I have no interest in having children. I've been told I'm selfish, I don't know what I'm talking about, it's my duty to have a child, etc.

    The thing is, unless you know someone very well, you don't know if that person is saying they don't want children because they are unable to actually have children. I have friends/family members who desperately want to have kids but are unable to do so but rather than laying their medical history out on the table for general consumption, they settle for the more vague answer of "I don't want kids."

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  42. Totally agree with the road rage issues and nail clipping (ICK!) and especially the wanting kids thing! I get that SO MUCH and it just makes me want to punch them.

    I'll add to that, the classic "so when are you getting married?" I'm nearly 30, been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and his little sister recently got married. If I had a nickle for every time some one asked us when we're getting hitched since she got engaged over a year ago, I'd be a rich, rich woman. Hmmm...now there's an idea! Start charging people when they ask you stupid questions! Man, we could make a fortune!!! Or maybe people would stop asking stupid questions. Either way, WIN!

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  43. I'm super laid back so very few things make me want to commit mass murder. The few things that do:
    1. People treating me like I'm uneducated because I clean houses. Bitch, I have a bachelor's degree.
    2. People who hate other people because of their skin color, sexual preference, or any other stupid reason. People are people no matter what, and they all deserve respect. However, you have to give respect to get it.
    3. People who are mean just to be mean.

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  44. @Sabrina & @FragileLittleHuman... *group hug* Glad I'm not the only one. WTF is wrong with people?!

    @Lindsay - only one person has rubbed my belly w/o permission and it was my sweet-as-could-be little old lady neighbor, which was fine. Everyone else keeps their hands to themselves. Odd, because I'm sure that my face looks so friendly and inviting 24/7 these days *eyeroll*

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  45. I ride a bus at my college, that services the town and the university. It's mostly college students but also general townspeople. It makes me want to go utterly postal when college guys don't offer to give up their seats to older women. Like, women who walk with canes, older women. much less don't offer to give up their seats to females in general... When the woman with the cane is standing and the boy with a baseball scholarship is sitting I need to look out the window to make sure we didn't actually just run over chivalry with the goddamn bus we're riding on. That makes fire come out of my ears.

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